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  • Ask the expert!

    Got any BBQ questions Ask our resident BBQ expert Stu Steak!, (ah, you like the pun huh?)! from best steak grilling techniques to which cheese slices to buy! What he doesn't know about BBQ's isn't worth knowing!
    Attached Files
    hell yea! HELL YEA!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  • #2
    Re: Ask the expert!

    Okay,

    My first tip to all you BBQing brothers and sisters out there is to know where the hotspots on your grill are, different meats cook faster/slower than others. A hotspot is a place on the grill where you slap your desired meat and it instantly roars into life. Good for larger burgers, the more common biscuit burger and steaks (the non-beer steak. Beer steak will be covered in a different post in the near future) Three Hotspot levels exist:

    HOTSPOT 1. Super Hotspot (Hell). The MAX, no hotter way to cook. Red coals give off the heat of hell.... use this hotspot if you're a pro, a fast meat flipper and don't mind burning the hairs on your hand! Use to: Make sure something is done, cook something superfast (Turn every 10secs and make sure it's done in the middle!!!)

    HOTSPOT 2. Chefs Special (Toasty). Where most of the action happens, cook here for all round good results, turn regularly make sure your meat doesn't burn and when done move to hotspot 3 to keep the meat in question warm until you can find a mouth to feed.

    HOTSPOT 3. Little Chef (Damp Sock). This hotspot is more like a warmspot, no real heat, located off the coals there's just enough heat from the BBQ to keep the meat (sweet) warm. Try to cook off this hotspot and your guests will no doubt be suing you for Ecoli poisoning within days of their hospital release.

    Okay so let's get to grips with the basics. The outside of your typical pork snag will cook super fast but the inside will take much longer to heat through, so you need to keep your sausages off the hardcore hotspots but still over enough hot coal to get them cooking. Turn the snag(s) regularly to ensure they do not burn. REMEMBER: a dark brown colour is good but black is slack. 15mins regularly turned over the right heat coals and get your finger roll ready boy!

    Your typical biscuit burger can sit over any hotspot on the grill but needs regular turning to ensure a non charcoaled burger. I myself don't encourage biscuit burgers, cheap small 'beef nuggets' as they've become known as late are common on most BBQs, but for a little extra you can move you to a Mega burger size, and a whole different level of quality. (See future BBQ meat reviews)

    The last tip in this section: From my years of experience and the knowledge I have gained, I've learned never cook from FROZEN food, you'll get ill for sure. Always defrost, by leaving meat out and covered or microwave defrost. Always wash your hands after touching raw meat and if you think it's not done I.E. it's still bleeding, cold, juicy and or moving throw it back on the coals! Unless, like Johnson, you just love sitting on the shitter!!

    Not sure what's next in the series, maybe Chicken and Steak techniques, including Marinaded Chicken and the LEGEND that is THE BEER STEAK!!!

    Watch this space.

    Please feel free to post any BBQ questions here:
    And if you don't like it then hey fuck you!
    Get the fuck out of my face!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Ask the expert!

      what was that you were saying to me about getting out more bluey?
      There is no escape — we pay for the violence of our ancestors.
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Ask the expert!



        You're right, I'm terrible at finishing what I mean to say:

        YOU GUYS NEED TO GET OUT MORE AND COOK MEAT OVER HOT COALS!

        Sorry about that, keep those questions coming!
        And if you don't like it then hey fuck you!
        Get the fuck out of my face!
        [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Ask the expert!

          Dear "stu steak" i have a problem that has been bugging me for sometime now, a dear friend of mine has recently told me he has a micro-sausage and doesn't know what to do with it, is there any way he can roast his chippolata ? he has told me he is getting quite desperate and has recently been considering eating out a german kebab from pure frustration. please help.
          ........
          [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Ask the expert!

            Ahhh Mr Ribs thank you for your letter.

            Your friend does indeed have a big (micro) problem. Micro-sausage is common amoungst many BBQ goers. I myself have had no experience of dealing with micros or weeners, I absolutely dread the thought. I would think that turning to a dirty German kebab is not the answer, who'd want to touch a rancid piece of meat like that, what could it possibly achieve? EURGHK!

            Grilling that little shrimp of meat is the only answer, 'slap' (if possible) upon the grill & burn/char the little fucker. Thow it away..... it's usless.

            NEXT:
            And if you don't like it then hey fuck you!
            Get the fuck out of my face!
            [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

            Comment

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